So you all know I loved my MOMS club in Louisville, right? I may have complained a bit about the politics, etc of being co-president, but 99.9% of the time I loved it. It was my social life. It was Andrew's social life. It saved my life on many a day where I wanted to crawl under a rock and die (think morning sickness a little over a year ago). For some reason, I just immediately clicked with the ladies in the group and formed so many friendships.
My experience was so great, that I felt quite confident that I would join the Newtown MOMS club and make lots more friends, and Andrew would be immersed in friendships, etc etc.
So I went to my first meeting today. Lots of nice ladies. Of course, no one came up and introduced themselves to me, but after cornering them and shaking their hands, they were more than willing to tell me their names. Then they would slink back to their friends and ignore me again. This I can handle...I remember doing almost the same thing to people at our MOMS club meetings...if the new person didn't have a kid my kid's age, I let others with more in common approach the new person. Sadly, today, there was no one else with kids Andrew's age. So poor Andrew just kind of wandered around during the meeting. (which prompted him to say as we got back in the car, "I want to go back to Kentucky. I miss my friends").
The meeting started out normal enough. They all went around and introduced themselves, because there were a few perspectives and me there as newcomers. I expressed my surprise that most of the events/playdates on the calendar were at 1pm. What at nappers? Their response was that the people who plan the events have older kids who don't nap, therefore, afternoon events prevail. Hmmmmm. Then they turned to me and asked if I wanted to start a playgroup. Huh? (yea, that's where Andrew gets it from). They gently (note sarcasm) let me know that ALL the playgroups were full, but I could start a new one for possible new members. In fact, they are almost sure someone new is joining...they have a 1 year old.
I swear, I almost started crying right then and there. I can't get Andrew into a pre-school because there aren't any 2 year old programs. Now I can't even do a GD playgroup because you are capped at 4 moms??? I believe I rolled my eyes and said, "Gee, I'm so glad I joined". Oh, lovely. I'm sure they'll all line up to be my friend now. I understand playgroups getting too large. But what good does it do for me to be in a playgroup with a 14 month old??? I have a 1 month old and a 3 year old... Oh, they did ask if I would be secretary...they need a new board member. Sure, this club does nothing for me, but I'll do your paperwork for you.
Anyway...obviously this MOMS club is not going to be my answer. So I don't know where to begin. In a town where I know NOBODY, in a town where I don't know where ANYTHING is (I don't even know what towns are nearby), when it is WINTER so everybody is inside...how do I find a crowd? How do I keep my 3 year old happy when he's just figured out that playing with other kids is way more fun than playing with Mom all day? Oh yes, and how do I pretend that everything is hunky-dory so that I don't deflate my eager husband, make my in-laws panic that I'm going to kill my son, and make my own parents come move in with me to keep me company? I wish I were a better actress. ;)
So those of you SAHM's...enlighten me. How do you find friends for you and your kids? Do I just need to wait until Andrew starts pre-school next year?
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4 comments:
How frusterating! That is so irritating that they treated you so badly. yuck.
Could you see if there are any classes through the community college district or even join a gymboree for a while just to meet some moms with kids the same age? Hopefully you will find some nicer (and less snobby) friends soon.
I'll have Dad read your blog. Maybe we can move there tomorrow. (just kidding). I believe I rang my neighbors doorbell and begged to come in before I killed my daughter. We became best friends. Guess she didn't want me to kill my child. As the old saying goes...it will take time and you've only been there a week. I can hear you saying, "but where do I start?". Patience has never been our long suite. Love you and wish I could help.
Ugh! That is difficult. We found a play group through a friend I knew from church. It is really laid back and flexible. I am sure you haven't found a church community that you are comfortable with already, but that might be one place to look. I know it's trickier with Lily, but are there any indoor play areas where you could stalk, er, meet, other moms? Local rec centers? I did a class when Harper was a baby and, even though the friendships didn't really last, I did meet some friendly people there. You could also try library story time. Here they are really flexible and would let you bring Lily to toddler time. We've met lots of nice people that way! Good luck.
I've had a similar experience and am totally missing the Louisville MOMS Club. We're in KS now and the Club here only meets on Tu/Th mornings which is when my girls are in preschool. I have met a couple of people through a church moms group. Sometimes library storytimes are a good place or some class like Kindermusik. It's hard being in a new place and missing old friends.
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