6 hours!!!

Lily went 6 hours between feedings last night!!! That means 5 hours of sleep in a row for Mama. Woo-hoo Lily!

Which brings back a memory. I recollect early in Andrew's life, maybe 3 or 4 weeks along, desperately wondering when I would ever sleep again. I tried to read my parenting book through my glassy bleary eyes. I was thrilled to read that most infants start sleeping through the night at 3-4 months! Hooray.

Until you read the fine print. I believe the entry looked something like this:

Months 3-4: Your infant will most likely begin sleeping through the night***

***"sleeping through the night" consists of 6 hours between feedings.

Um, excuse me? In what universe does the night only last 6 hours? What misleading bullcrap. Those parenting books need to write more realistic milestones.

Months 3-4: Sorry, sucker, your infant won't be sleeping regularly until at least 10 months old...and that's if you're lucky. The only people who have babies that sleep through the night at this stage fall into 3 categories:
1) liars 2) old people who can't remember what their kids did at this stage...memory loss can be due to lack of sleep and 3) a few incredible lucky people who will swear their baby slept through because of some very easy to do step....like a book they read, or something they fed the baby, etc etc. Don't hate them, they are just naive. So you're out of luck new parent. Maybe if sleep was so important to you, you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

I mean, an entry like that would be depressing, sure. But at least it's honest...you know what you're in for. No false hope, you know?

But then, I've always believed that cute kid commercials should come with disclaimers...you know, like the drug commercials do. Just imagine...you see a commercial with an adorable baby cooing up at its mother. Perhaps it giggles a bit. Just as you feel your ovaries squeeze in anticipation, a fast talking man jumps in..."Some side effects may occur...drowsiness, loss of memory, inability to go to the bathroom alone, meal times shortened or eliminated, inibility to have conversations not limited to diaper changing or spit up, impaired driving due to outraged screams, you may find human feces caked onto clothing or body parts, as well as other symptoms not listed here."

Those ovaries would just shut up and let you live your single life after that, eh?

Stalker

I'm officially changing from a pathetic friendless girl to a stalker. As in stalking other moms with kids Andrew's age.

I heard about a free class for toddlers given at the hospital every week (did I post about that last week...I think so...it was cancelled last week for Turkey Day). So we show up super early (because I have to be prepared to get lost in the labrynth that they call "streets" in this town). Andrew is super excited. And since we are the first ones there, we get to watch all the other kids come in. And they toddled in. Andrew was like Gulliver in Lilliput (which happens to be one of my favorite nicknames for Lily...hmmm). Seriously, he weighed as much as 2 of these little guys. So I spent the entire hour making sure he didn't trip and crush one of them. Which was hard, because while the 1 year olds were enthusiatically dancing and following directions, my 3 year old was alternating between doing the dance moved and throwing himself to the ground in a dramatic collapse. Terrific threes!

Point of this story is, there was ONE other 3 year old there. And so once I figured that out...I began to stalk. I'm not ashamed. I eavesdropped on a conversation she was having about not being able to potty train her son. And I jumped right in. Very classy. Not desperate at all. But I reached new levels of stalker when I asked this woman if she was interested in playdates...after meeting her just 10 minutes before. She smiled and made little noises maybe a few words, but nothing definitely affirmative. I decided that perhaps I had frightened her and backed off. She did make a point of saying nice to meet me and goodbye at the end of class, so perhaps it's not all lost. Perhaps I'll have to bring my Goliath back to class next week to scope out new victims...er...potential friends.

Happy birthday, baby boy

My boy is 3?!?!?!? Where oh where did my baby go? And how is it possible to just love someone more and more as each year passes?

(and, seriously, could he be cuter?)

Wive's tales

Did you know that if you have a lot of heartburn while pregnant, it is a sure sign that your baby will have a lot of hair?

No, you've never heard that either? Well, I hear it 2 to 3 times each outing that Lily is with me. From total strangers ooing and aaahing over my adorable baby.

Of course I love to burst their bubbles. I had virtually NO heartburn during my pregnancy with Lily, a fact I attributed to my small belly size...not the potentially bald head of the baby.

Oh, and for all those Wive's Tales lovers...Lily was supposed to be a boy according to the ring swing, Chinese Calendar, time of conception, etc. I haven't seen her penis yet...so I'm pretty sure they were wrong.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

I could give a whole listing of the things that I'm thankful for. This has been an amazing year for our family, and although I have been wallowing in self-pity a lot recently, my lot in life is much much better than 90% of the world population. Okay, probably better than 98%. I'm not real good at math...but that's an approximate number ;)

The things I'm the most thankful for? 2 healthy children. What a gift! Sleepless nights are nothing...I don't have to worry about my children's lives (except when Andrew shoves 5 grapes in his mouth at a time...or when Andrew decides to dance with Lily to the song "Shake It Baby" which he sings as "Shake THE Baby".) A husband who is also healthy and happens to love me to pieces...even when I'm a grumpy, self-pitying mess. 2 sets of parents who regularly give us the shirts off their backs to help us out. And on and on and on the list could go.

But I won't bore you with the details. I just wanted to let you know that although this blog does not reflect it...I do truely appreciate all the gifts in my life. My biggest problem is my husband is successful at his job and has gotten promoted to a place that is a mere 8 hours away from family and friends. Boo hoo me.

I also wanted to share my epiphany of last night. I think it was well known that I wanted another boy this time around. I had visions of bunk beds, boy-themed family vacations, brotherly joking/wrestling for the rest of our lives. Since I don't come from a family with mixed gender siblings, I couldn't really imagine it, so I wanted a brother for Andrew. Plus, as I have stated in earlier posts, I am not very "girly" and thought I'd be doing a disservice to a little girl by being her mother. Now, having found out in May that a little girl was emminent, I certainly got used to the idea. Even excited about it. So by the time Lily made her entrance last month, I was on board with having a girl.

But I don't think it really hit me until last night. See, I was making my family's traditional French stuffing. Don't be fooled by the name. It is not stuffing. It is not stuffed anywhere. It is actually a pork/potato/Saltine cracker/poultry seasoning dream. We don't even have mashed potatoes because it is so good (I can hear the collective gasp of my readers). Anyway, I was mixing together this delectable family tradition and Lily was swinging away in her swing in the kitchen. And suddenly it hit me. I now have someone to teach the family recipes to. Someone to call me in future Thanksgivings to ask for my recipes...which came from my mommy.

I pulled that little girl out of her swing and kissed her all over. Oh the joys of having a daughter!

***no pressure to Lily, of course. she can cook or not cook whatever she wants in future Thanksgivings. But the possibilites are there!

I may have to eat my words...

So maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Maybe I should not let my emotions run away with me. Maybe I should realize that I'm overly sensitive and shouldn't read into everything I think I hear.

The MOMS club did hurt my feelings with the whole playgroup thing. Especially the part I neglected to write in here...that there is a spot in the 3 year old group...but they have too many boys and they want to save that spot for a girl. Nice.

But I wrote a letter of apology to the Membership VP. Because my attitude sucked and I feel I'm a better person than that. She wrote back that she hadn't heard my little comment (thank heavens), but would I like to come to a class that the hospital runs every Wednesday morning? This woman came to my house this morning so that I could follow her to the local hospital and gave me a whole folder of information about the Newtown MOMS club and organizations in the area.

So let me eat my words. It doesn't even matter that the hospital center was closed today (oops). It's just nice to feel that warmth of friendliness...now I just have to get over the guilt of judging all the people in the MOMS club based on a few insensitive people.

Unanswerable questions

To try and change the tone of this blog a bit (before I have to change the name to "Self-Pity Central"), I thought I'd write about my kiddos a bit.

Andrew's "Why?" trend has escalated to now include ridiculous, unanswerable questions. He is just talking to talk, and just asking questions to ask. Kind of drives me crazy, but it makes me laugh most of the time. Need an example?

A- "Can I have a cookie?"
G- "Yes, you ate a good lunch"
A- "Why did I eat a good lunch?"

And Jeff's personal favorite while watching football on Sunday with Andrew:

"What color is the white team, Dad?" (Andrew must have asked this 1,000 times)


My little Lily is turning so sweet. I love the smiles. Last night she woke me to feed her (she actually went 5 1/2 hours between feedings...which would have been swell, except I had a sinus headache that kept me up for 2 of those hours...arghhh!). Anyway, I stumbled in to feed my screaming banshee, and as I lay her on the Boppy and whipped out the milk machine, she stopped crying, looked up into my bleary eyes, and gave a jaw-cracking smile. Okay, darling, I'll wake up as much as you want if you appreciate it that much. Melt, melt, melt.

At least somebody is smiling...

Not a quick fix

So you all know I loved my MOMS club in Louisville, right? I may have complained a bit about the politics, etc of being co-president, but 99.9% of the time I loved it. It was my social life. It was Andrew's social life. It saved my life on many a day where I wanted to crawl under a rock and die (think morning sickness a little over a year ago). For some reason, I just immediately clicked with the ladies in the group and formed so many friendships.

My experience was so great, that I felt quite confident that I would join the Newtown MOMS club and make lots more friends, and Andrew would be immersed in friendships, etc etc.

So I went to my first meeting today. Lots of nice ladies. Of course, no one came up and introduced themselves to me, but after cornering them and shaking their hands, they were more than willing to tell me their names. Then they would slink back to their friends and ignore me again. This I can handle...I remember doing almost the same thing to people at our MOMS club meetings...if the new person didn't have a kid my kid's age, I let others with more in common approach the new person. Sadly, today, there was no one else with kids Andrew's age. So poor Andrew just kind of wandered around during the meeting. (which prompted him to say as we got back in the car, "I want to go back to Kentucky. I miss my friends").

The meeting started out normal enough. They all went around and introduced themselves, because there were a few perspectives and me there as newcomers. I expressed my surprise that most of the events/playdates on the calendar were at 1pm. What at nappers? Their response was that the people who plan the events have older kids who don't nap, therefore, afternoon events prevail. Hmmmmm. Then they turned to me and asked if I wanted to start a playgroup. Huh? (yea, that's where Andrew gets it from). They gently (note sarcasm) let me know that ALL the playgroups were full, but I could start a new one for possible new members. In fact, they are almost sure someone new is joining...they have a 1 year old.

I swear, I almost started crying right then and there. I can't get Andrew into a pre-school because there aren't any 2 year old programs. Now I can't even do a GD playgroup because you are capped at 4 moms??? I believe I rolled my eyes and said, "Gee, I'm so glad I joined". Oh, lovely. I'm sure they'll all line up to be my friend now. I understand playgroups getting too large. But what good does it do for me to be in a playgroup with a 14 month old??? I have a 1 month old and a 3 year old... Oh, they did ask if I would be secretary...they need a new board member. Sure, this club does nothing for me, but I'll do your paperwork for you.

Anyway...obviously this MOMS club is not going to be my answer. So I don't know where to begin. In a town where I know NOBODY, in a town where I don't know where ANYTHING is (I don't even know what towns are nearby), when it is WINTER so everybody is inside...how do I find a crowd? How do I keep my 3 year old happy when he's just figured out that playing with other kids is way more fun than playing with Mom all day? Oh yes, and how do I pretend that everything is hunky-dory so that I don't deflate my eager husband, make my in-laws panic that I'm going to kill my son, and make my own parents come move in with me to keep me company? I wish I were a better actress. ;)

So those of you SAHM's...enlighten me. How do you find friends for you and your kids? Do I just need to wait until Andrew starts pre-school next year?

Our new town...

So here we are. In Philly. Or the "greater Philadelphia area". Because we really don't live in a city. There is a big old farm just across the street from our neighborhood and I found a tick after running around in our back yard (deer are regular visitors to our back hill).

Anyhoo...it is really pretty here. And the weather has been KILLER for the last several weeks. A few rainy days, but in the 60s and lower 70s. Today is cooler. About time. Who wants to cook a turkey when it is 75 degrees out? I haven't been out exploring much (see my entry regarding crazy street geography here) but there seems to be a lot to do. And people have been really friendly so far. Now if I could just find some playgroups that aren't in the afternoon ;)

Overall I just am bad with change (what??? shocker!). I feel sad sometimes and lonely a lot of the times, but Andrew and Lily keep me pretty busy, so I don't have too much time to dwell on it. Plus, my mom was here keeping me company...although that kind of made me sad, because it just made me wish she lived closer...and now we're even farther away. :(

Jeff is LOVING his new job. He's just so happy...it's really great. His commute seems to be fine and he just loves being back in a small plant atmosphere. Not to mention being a boss. And his boss seems to be very supportive...which means Jeff should be able to do what he needs to do.

Jeff is also rather desperate for me to like it. Every time I find something that I like, Jeff repeats it over and over as if to convince me how wonderful this place is. For example:
G- We went to the library today. It was really great. They have so much more than Louisville's library system. I'm really excited.
J- See, I told you you'd like it here.
---a few hours later, Jeff is reading Andrew a library book---
J- Wow, what great books. It really is going to be great to have a library you like nearby.
---the next day as Andrew boogies to a CD we got from the library---
J- You never got music CDs in Louisville. I think these libraries are really going to be great.

And on and on and on. He is probably having shakes worrying that I will spiral into depression like I did upon moving to California. All he wants is for BOTH of us to be happy. So it's kind of cute. And a little annoying. But mostly sweet and cute.

A sampling of our family photos

Seriously...

Really, people with older children, how did you keep your kiddos alive during the "Terrific Threes?" (or whatever garbage my MIL calls them).

Okay, after I let Andrew out of his room from the incident below, we had a long talk about listening to Mommy, respecting adults, blah blah blah. We came downstairs to eat lunch. Andrew climbs up onto his chair and stands up. These are big Amish furniture dining chairs, but I still said, "Andrew, please sit down in your chair". And I turned around to start making lunch. He, of course, did not sit down. I repeat, "Andrew, remember about being a good listener. Sit down". I turn around again to continue lunch prep. CRASH! The chair completely topples over, scaring the poop out of Andrew.

Now here's where you can hand me an award for best mommy ever. I managed to love and comfort my son before rubbing it in his face that he should have listened to his mommy. Of course, you may want to take that award away knowing that I did rub it in his face. "Now see, Andrew, Mommy doesn't want you to get hurt. That's one reason you should be a good listener".

Of course, he STILL doesn't get it. For 5 minutes after the accident, he kept repeating, "Thank you for telling me to sit down, Mommy". Huh? Why are you thanking me for telling you something you didn't listen to? Don't thank me...just listen occasionally!!!!

When will this child learn cause and effect? Will he survive to that milestone? Stay tuned...

Can I survive 3???

He's not even 3 yet, and I'm wondering if he will live to see 4.

He just opened the pantry. Got out fruit snacks. I told him he would have to wait until we left in the car to have fruit snacks. He started to open them. I told him he better not eat any and to give them to me. He grabs ALL THE FRUIT SNACKS, looks right at me, and shoves them all into his mouth. He is now sitting in his room banging on the door (I had to put him somewhere that I wouldn't KILL him). I know when I go up there to talk to him he'll say "Are you mad Mommy? Why?"

ARGHHHHHHH!

Sleep, glorious sleep!

I got 4 hours of sleep...IN A ROW last night. Do you know how long it has been since I've gotten that much sleep??? I do, October 5. Not that I'm counting.

YEA LILY!!!

No pizza delivery???

We discovered two disturbing things about our new town last night.

1) We don't think there is a single pizza delivery place around. You have to call in to these Italian restaurants and go pick up your pizza. Say what???

2) Jeff and I won't be going out to eat much for a long time. Even with my mom to help, it just takes a TON of coordination to pack up, get out the door, sit still while waiting for food, etc etc. I know, I know, it will get better. But still.

This means I'm going to have to cook. Say what??? (say...frozen pizza?) I miss my Louisville Meal Service! (gourmet meals delivered right to my door at no cost to me...yea, October was a good eating month)

A sense of direction

I was born with a terrible birth defect. It wasn't discovered until I turned 16. All of a sudden, I would find myself lost with no idea which direction to turn. Cardinal directions meant nothing to me in the real world. Yes, that's right, I was born without a sense of direction.

This defect earned me my first cell phone out in California, where Jeff had visions of me pulling over to ask directions in Compton and getting my head blown off. I was ALWAYS lost in California for the first 3 years or so (this was aggravated by the fact I changed jobs so much in the first 3 years...and each job was in a very different location).

Then I moved to blessed Louisville. There are about 4 major streets, and no matter how lost you get, you bump into one of those streets and you can find your way home. Also, it has the added benefit of having a river to the north and west of it (as in , "crap, I've hit the river...better turn around),virtually no civilization to the south or west of it (as in, "crap, where did all the buildings and businesses go...better turn around). Have I mentioned to y'all how much I loved Louisville?

Now I'm in sense of direction hell. Apparently, the east coast is really old. And back in the old days, people didn't appreciate logic in setting up their towns. Streets don't run straight, and if they do, they randomly change names...with no warning to imbeciles like me.

As an example, here are ACTUAL directions given to me to get to my pediatrician's office. I AM NOT BEING FUNNY...THESE ARE THE ACTUAL DIRECTIONS! (street names have been changed so crazy people reading my blog can't find where I live...you know who I'm talking about, people.)

Take a left out of your neighborhood. When the road deadends, turn right onto Cumberland St.
At the first light, turn left onto Hulmeville Rd.
Go straight for about half a mile. At the next light, turn left onto Hulmeville Rd.
At the 3rd light, turn right onto Silver Pine Dr.
At the first light, turn left onto Silver Pine Dr. You will pass over the freeway.
At the 2nd light, turn right onto Heathcliff. The doctor's office is on the right, at the light where Heathcliff turns into Makefield Valley Rd.


Okay, did you notice how 3 times in those short directions, the streets take a 90 degree turn, but keep their name??? What the *!!&????

So now you know. If I don't update this blog for a few days, I'm probably wandering the streets of my new town, with no idea where I am.

Why?

I title this post "Why?" for 2 reasons.

Reason #1: This is now one of Andrew's favorite words, second only to his previous favorite, "Huh?" Between these two intelligent phrases, you now know about 80% of his contribution to conversations. To give you a little sample, here is a typical conversation with the boy as of late...

Andrew: Mommy, I want to go outside.
Mommy: Okay, put your shoes on and we'll go out.
A: Huh?
M: Put your shoes on first and then we'll go outside.
A: Huh?
M: Just put your shoes on.
A: Why?
M: Because you can't go outside without shoes...it's too cold.
A: Why?
M: Because it's almost winter.
A: Why?
M: It just is!
A: Huh?

This is the point where I run screaming out of the room. Andrew can no longer remember the initial request, and we have deteriorated into a meaningless conversation. Now repeat this scenario about 50 times, and you have my day. Oh, wait, imagine dealing with it when you have less that 4 hours sleep total (and that's not consecutive folks). Yea, we're one big happy family.



Reason #2 for the Why?: Why do people have more than one child? Let me rephrase...why did I have more than one child? I love Lily...so much it amazes me that I can feel this way about two little people at the same time. But after 50 repetitions of the above scenario added into the mischievous, devious, downright naughty behavior of my son, I wonder why I thought it would be a good idea to have to do this all over again in 3 years. Some of you may be aghast at my suggestion that Andrew would ever be naughty. Let me list for you some of his more charming behaviors over the last 24 hours:
--whacking furniture, floors, dogs, mommies with a measuring tape
--purposefully pouring a cup of water all over the couch when I was out of the room (and it was a sippy cup, so he really had to shake that thing to empty it)
--sitting on the potty (yea) refusing to go pee (boo) until 2 seconds later when he's standing in the tub. Yes, he holds it so he can go in the tub. Lovely.
--throwing all his stuffed animals down the steps while I filled the tub.
--repeatedly going limp and falling to the floor whenever we start trying to do something fun. This behavior makes no sense to me...it happens when I sit down to spend quality time with him. It's like he's desperate to be alone with me, but when we get to be alone, he withdraws completely.

Anyway, all this behavior (again coupled with my lack of sleep) is driving me INSANE, and making me wonder what we were thinking wanting to repeat all these stages with another child. My feelings are aggravated by my mother barely able to contain her snickering each time Andrew does something to drive us crazy. It brings her great pleasure to see us dealing with him. Hmmmm, perhaps I will be in a similar situation 30 years from now?

Lily's progress

I just have to post how big my little girl is getting!

Before we left Louisville, we had one last weight check with the pediatrician. Lily was 7lbs 13oz (12th percentile) and 20 inches (25th percentile). This was quite shocking to me, since Andrew never was below the 90th percentile and was frequently off the charts.

We had another doctor's appointment here in Philly on Thursday. Exactly 14 days since the last weight check. Lily was 9lbs 2oz (50th percentile) and 21 1/2 inches (75th percentile).

All I gotta say...Momma's making milkshakes! Grow Lily grow!

Oh, and she started smiling this week. Real eye squinting, cheek raising, look-you-in-the-eye smiling. Melt melt melt.

Oh, and I'm never having another child. I've been blessed with ANOTHER wonderful baby. Lily only cries if she's hungry or mad (about being naked, etc). She isn't sensitive or overly fussy. She's great! If I dared to roll the dice again, I'd be sure to have something not quite human.

I'm alive!!!

Hooray! We have internet. And a phone. And cable.

It's been a long week without these diversions. However, I'm sure we got a TON more packing done because we were lacking electronically. With the re-introduction of Andrew and technology, I am certain the last 10 boxes will not be unpacked until April at the earliest.

That's all we have left to unpack...about 10 boxes. Unfortunately, there is no space left for the contents of the last boxes. In Louisville we had a wall of beautiful bookshelves with cabinets underneath. We of course wasted no time filling these cabinets and shelves with lots and lots of JUNK. Now where is that junk supposed to go? I can't just throw it away. I may someday NEED that 7 year old cross-stich sampler that I haven't gotten around to finishing. I may re-read the James Patterson book that was so mindless it took me less that a day to read the first time around. So all these valuables will sit a while long in boxes in my living room until I finally get around to moving them into a cobwebb-y corner of the basement until we move again and I get to exclaim, "What the heck is this crap???"

I was really good about purging back in Louisville. I finally went through my closet. I found pairs of pants that were size 10 and a skirt that was a size 8. Uh, Giselle? Reality check. I haven't worn those sizes since college...and with the amount of pumpkin pie I've consumed in the last month, I'm not likely to fit into them any time soon. And since it has been 8 years since I fit in them, they are in less than great shape. So I gave them away. Apparently I'm of the opinion that less fortunate people are willing to wear out of style, dusty, wrinkled beyond recognition clothes. Lucky them.

I'll let you know about my reactions to Philly (yes, reality has hit me...hard), Andrew's reactions to Philly (still not going potty), Lilly's reactions to Philly (yea, right...she's got a boob, she's happy), and lots of other exciting details I know you are dying to find out about. As a preview... can you all hear my plumbing? Way over there in the Midwest? Because it is so loud, I find it hard to believe we haven't been slapped with a citation by the city. :)

An ode to my parents

Here I am! Were you all crazy with boredom without my thrilling blog to read???

So I'm at my mom's house this week. Seriously, how did Jeff and I get so lucky to have such great parents? My poor mother is housing Andrew, Lily, and me while Jeff and my dad are in Philly getting the house ready for the truck to come. Okay, so Jeff is at work and my dad is getting the house ready. Let's talk about my folks' last few days for a moment.

Dad: Lucky him. Drives 9 hours to a house that has no furniture or even lamps. Jeff makes him sleep there, despite there being no beds. Wake up in the morning. Want breakfast? Sorry, no refrigerator. Thirsty? I think the water works, but there are no cups...so lap it up like a dog from the faucet. Drive Jeff to work. Drive back to empty house. Start cleaning. Yea, fun stuff. Scrubbing walls and cabinets. Tired? Need a break? Better stretch out on the floor, 'cause there aren't any chairs.

Mom: Lucky her. Watch your lovely empty nest slowly destruct into a cluttered, crumby mess. Since your daughter is basically out of commission because there is a baby attached to her breast 20 hours a day, you are the sole entertainer for a bored 3 year old (okay, so the 20 hours may be a bit of an exaggeration. you try breastfeeding a newborn and tell me how many hours it feels like to you). Tired from chasing a 3 year old? Sorry, you are also helping the exhausted mom by rocking fussy Lily in the early hours of the evening. This is supposed to allow Giselle to sleep early on so you don't have to get up in the wee hours of the morning. Great plan, until the 3 year old sings from 3-4am...just loud enough to keep you awake. Want to take a nap the next day? Sorry, you have to prepare to leave for a trip to PA to help unpack.

Yea, my parents are truely proving their love for me. My in-laws ain't too shabby either. They are juggling work schedules to take Andrew so we can have a few days to unpack without him. Not that a 3 year old wouldn't be great help unpacking. That's all he does all day...unpack a box of toys, unpack the fridge, unpack the bookshelves.

So thanks to all the 'rents for helping us out during this time. The fact that my hair hasn't turned white or fallen out is a testiment to all your help. Do you think you could keep up this level of help until Lily turns 5?