Lily went 6 hours between feedings last night!!! That means 5 hours of sleep in a row for Mama. Woo-hoo Lily!
Which brings back a memory. I recollect early in Andrew's life, maybe 3 or 4 weeks along, desperately wondering when I would ever sleep again. I tried to read my parenting book through my glassy bleary eyes. I was thrilled to read that most infants start sleeping through the night at 3-4 months! Hooray.
Until you read the fine print. I believe the entry looked something like this:
Months 3-4: Your infant will most likely begin sleeping through the night***
***"sleeping through the night" consists of 6 hours between feedings.
Um, excuse me? In what universe does the night only last 6 hours? What misleading bullcrap. Those parenting books need to write more realistic milestones.
Months 3-4: Sorry, sucker, your infant won't be sleeping regularly until at least 10 months old...and that's if you're lucky. The only people who have babies that sleep through the night at this stage fall into 3 categories:
1) liars 2) old people who can't remember what their kids did at this stage...memory loss can be due to lack of sleep and 3) a few incredible lucky people who will swear their baby slept through because of some very easy to do step....like a book they read, or something they fed the baby, etc etc. Don't hate them, they are just naive. So you're out of luck new parent. Maybe if sleep was so important to you, you shouldn't have had kids in the first place.
I mean, an entry like that would be depressing, sure. But at least it's honest...you know what you're in for. No false hope, you know?
But then, I've always believed that cute kid commercials should come with disclaimers...you know, like the drug commercials do. Just imagine...you see a commercial with an adorable baby cooing up at its mother. Perhaps it giggles a bit. Just as you feel your ovaries squeeze in anticipation, a fast talking man jumps in..."Some side effects may occur...drowsiness, loss of memory, inability to go to the bathroom alone, meal times shortened or eliminated, inibility to have conversations not limited to diaper changing or spit up, impaired driving due to outraged screams, you may find human feces caked onto clothing or body parts, as well as other symptoms not listed here."
Those ovaries would just shut up and let you live your single life after that, eh?
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4 comments:
Hee hee. You know the chirt Mom bought for Colin that says "It seemed like a good idea at the time." They should make maternity shirts that say that. *smile*
that woud be "shirt" not chirt. Lack of sleeo.
I mean, slepe.
No, sleep.
I need to stop typing.
You crack me up!
I have often said that I could market my children as really effective birth control :)
Oh, and I really do fall into the category of babies who sleep all night - BUT Ryan at 2 still doesn't so I consider Rachel my reward :)
Well despite thinking of myself as pretty realistic and really, downright negative, I still fall victim to the lovey-dovey world of babydom (although is it Freudian that I initially spelled it babyDOOM?)
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