Boring stuff about me

At Jess's request here's a little thing I filled out...



10 years ago I was...
*starting my freshman year at University of Dayton
*still feeling a bit homesick at my college 45 minutes from home
*getting to know the girls on my floor, some of whom would become my good friends and others not so much
*in the process of gaining the freshman 25 (who only gains 15 pounds???)
*getting to know my future husband

5 years ago I was...
*starting a new job with University of Phoenix
*getting to know my new co-worker, who would end up being my best friend since high school
*playing with my guinea pig, Buster, the only pet allowed in our apartment
*dreaming of moving back to the mid-west
*still having nightmares about teaching elementary school

1 year ago I was...
*watching my baby boy learn to crawl and talk
*enjoying California for the first time ever
*meeting lots of new SAHM friends in a desperate attempt to get out of the house
*walking my 2 dogs with Andrew strapped onto my back in a carrier
*worried about making ends meet and paying all our bills

Yesterday I was...
*bummed my computer mouse didn't work all day long
*watching Andrew play at the playground...and actually climb on stuff!
*getting things ready for my first book club meeting (at my house tonight!)
*watching Lost
*hungry

5 snacks I enjoy...
*candy
*chocolate chip cookies
*chips and salsa
*cake
*um...sweets in general

5 songs I know all the words to...
*Everything She Does is Magic (Sting/The Police)
*Elmo's World (Elmo)
*almost anything by Shania Twain
*Bohemian Rapsody(Queen)
*The Broken Road (Rascal Flatts)

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars...
*Have Jeff quit his job and travel the world (and let our families come too)
*save a bunch of it (I'd still be stingy ole' me, right?)
*donate a bunch of it to the poor that I saw traveling the world
*hire a professional to decorate and redo my home...since I hate doing it
*give a ton of money to the Democratic party so they can maybe actually come up with a half-way decent candidate for president.

5 things I would never wear...
*capri pants (I was made fun of for years for flood pants...and now they're in style? I think not)
*hoochie momma shirts (no one needs to see that much of me)
*stiletto heels (can we say extremely clumsy Amazon woman?)
*Derby hats
*t-shirts with "Mrs. 'Famous person'" on it (lame-o)

5 favorite tv shows...
*FRIENDS
*Lost
*Baby Story
*Cosby Show (still)
*Daily Show

5 bad habits...
*procrastinating
*watching tv
*driving like I'm from California in Kentucky
*holding grudges
*taking offense too easily

5 biggest joys...
*cuddling with Jeff (without Andrew body slamming us)
*cuddling with Jeff (while Andrew body slams us)
*living close to and spending lots of time with family
*taking my dog for a walk
*making people laugh

5 favorite toys...
*my computer
*my logic puzzles (so sad, I know)
*big plasma tv
*Matchbox cars (it affects me indirectly)
*big comfy chair in my sitting room

5 fictional characters I would date...
*Superman (Dean Cain's version)
*I can't think of anymore...I'll add them in later if I think of any
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Selfish

Yes, I'm feeling selfish today. Self-pitying, if you will. So feel free to SKIP this post if you want to keep thinking of me as a positive, up-beat person.

First of all, why doesn't God want Jeff and I to go on a cruise? Why? And if it was so important to the Big Guy Upstairs, couldn't he find a less destructive way to cancel our trip. Give me intestinal worms a week before the trip, or give the boat a leak. There is no need to destroy every city our ship is supposed to take off from!

Secondly, when did I get to be such a LARDO? That is the technical term for "too-fat-to-fit-in-my-fat-clothes". I am on a restrictive diet and exercising every day to try and alleviate this condition. But I have a very short attention span. So I'm going to try really hard to stick with it more than a week and a half (my previous record in working out). What diet am I on, you ask? The eat less diet. It's a really novel approach to weight loss. If you eat fewer calories, you will lose weight. There is no telling if it will work, it is so revolutionary. One thing it does really well so far is make me irritable. Apparently, when my body is really really hungry, I get really really grouchy. So when PMS comes in a few weeks, I should be a real treat to hang out with. That is, if I'm still doing this in a few weeks.

Thirdly, I'm totally getting the baby bug again. And it is really frustrating, because I know it will take sooooooo long to get pregnant again. People around me are getting impregnated by the air around them, while on birth control! I am happy for them all, because every deserves to be blessed by babies. But I am jealous too. I am not proud of it, just green with envy. And I know I have one healthy baby and who am I to ask for more than that? Yea, my logical brain knows this. But this post isn't logical!

Hmmmmm, what else to gripe about. Oh yeah, WHERE IS FALL???? I haven't experienced fall since 1998, and now, on top of ruining my vacations in November, God is withholding autumn. What gives? I want to wear jeans and sweaters and kill all the bugs with frost. Of course, I don't fit in my jeans, so maybe I do need a few more weeks of heat. I've apparently stretched out all my shorts :)

Few...I feel better. Free therapy. On to another day with Prince Andrew.

Andrew and Shadow watch home videos

Ouchies

Andrew is quite the conversationalist. We now must relive everything that has happened numerous times a day. For example...

Andrew fell when walking on Saturday. Jeff and I strolled up to the coffee shop up the street and on the way back, we let Andrew get down and walk. Because, of course, the problem with stroller walks is that they wear out the parents but not the kid! Anyway, due to an uneven sidewalk and bad genetics, Andrew tripped. It was a weird slow motion fall that ended with him landing on his face. He was all scraped up (even inside his mouth). Poor baby. But after a few minutes of bleeding on Mommy, he wanted to keep walking. Which is not the best thing, considering that added another 20 minutes on our walk to get him mended at home. :)

Now I hear about this accident several times a day. Yesterday morning he woke up and pointed at the scrape on his finger (the only one he can see).

"Ouchie, Mommy. A-ew fell down rocks. A-ew cry. (insert fake crying) Mommy carry A-ew"

"Yes Andrew, you fell down. Are you all better?"

"So sad, Mommy. A-ew cry"

Then we get down to morning business like changing the 20 pound diaper he's created during the night and guzzling a cup of milk. When we're putting on his shirt (and by 'we put on' I mean me wrestling with the wiggle worm while he trying to get to the toy/book/wipes/discarded pjs) Andrew notices my big zit. Yup. 28 years old and still get them around my mouth. He points at it. And says:

"Mommy ouchie. Mommy fall down rocks. Mommy cry?"

Cute, eh? Unfortunately, this means we are entering the "Toddler notices every detail and must comment on it" phase. Soon I will encounter "Is there a baby in your tummy?" and "Prickly legs, Mommy" and so on and so on. I guess I should start working on that thicker skin if my greatest critic is coming to live with me!

Pictures from Waterfront park

Hooray! I did it!
Andrew finishes his lunch and thinks about getting wet
Having a great time in the water
Drenched!

Major brain fart

Okay, so I hate Wal-mart. It is a testement to how little I have to do today that I went there. Filled my cart with all the little odds and ends I like to get at Wal-mart, plus a few impulse buys. Andrew was a DOLL because I picked up a Match-box motorcycle for him to take home. Fast forward 45 minutes to the check-out line.

No wallet.

I can picture my wallet on the kitchen table where I took it out yesterday to get my DL#.

Damn.

A picnic

It is so easy to entertain a toddler. It's just difficult to entertain yourself while entertaining a toddler. You know what I mean? I feel bad because Andrew has so much fun doing just about anything...but I get bored in about 5 minutes.

So we had nothing planned for today. Big mistake. I usually plan for one outing a day, even if that outing is an exciting trip to Target. Today my mom's group was supposed to go walking but everyone had last minute reasons to back out. So Andrew and I are at home...with no reason to leave the house...OH MY GOD!!!

I did okay at first. We read a thousand books (which I've read so many times I dream about them). We painted and colored with crayons. Andrew played with matchbox cars (God bless Mattel). We did laundry...believe it or not, one of Andrew's favorite activities. Who knew sorting could be so stimulating. Of course, when your Mommy is groaning and exclaiming every time you take that red sock and put it in the white pile, it would be a bit more interesting. We jumped on the bed. I know, I know. This will not be so great when Andrew is a 6'5" football player. So I'll yell at him then...for now it was 15 minutes of blessed amusement. But around 10, I started pacing. I washed the screens, for heaven's sake. You KNOW you're bored, when you take the screens down and scrub them off.

I wanted to leave the house so badly. But I had no reason to. And I hear you have to donate an organ to get a few gallons of gas now.

So, as the title of this entry would imply, we went on a picnic. It was FABULOUS. We packed a little lunch, picked out a blanket, and walked down to the lake. Our neighborhood has a little lake in the middle of it, with ducks, fish, scum, trash,...you know...lake stuff. So we walked there, which took us a good 20 minutes. Andrew is a toddler...he doesn't walk fast. So here's how our walks usually go:

Walk...walk...step on the crack...turn around...jump over the crack...turn around...stomp on the crack...trip...fall down on the crack...cry...get kisses...walk...walk...sit down on the ground to look at a bug...crawl after bug...listen to Mommy grind her teeth in impatience...etc etc.

Anyway, we had a great lunch down by the lake, and the bonus was...it wore Andrew out. He is snoozing right now. Ahhhh, the blessed naps. What will I do when he stops napping? Wait a minute...a more pressing question should be...what am I going to do when it gets cold and we can't kill an hour and a half with a walk and picnic??? I'll be begging to move back to California!

When did I get so old?

Today I became a football widow. It's okay. It happens every year at this time, and my marriage somehow survives it. If only I could muster up SOME interest in this sport, we could have a fun activity to do together. But my attention span is WAY too short and the game too complicated (there are how many positions?) for a football game. -sigh- Maybe once Andrew plays I'll care.

Anyway, we invited some college friends to come and watch the game on Jeff's big screen. So Annie and Bill came down from Cinci, and Susan and Matt came in from Louisville...okay from 15 minutes away. It was really fun. We at hamburgers on the grill, chatted, caught up on things, etc etc etc. But it made me feel old.

See, they don't have kids yet. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. So Annie walks in with a "liger" shirt on. I don't know what that means. Jeff doesn't know what that means. But apparently, everyone else on earth that has a clue about pop culture knows what this means. Annie and Bill were APPALLED that we didn't know it. And they were quoting lines from that and other somewhat current movies (which of course Jeff and I either haven't seen or haven't seen repeatedly enough to have it memorized).

Now, I don't care that I haven't seen Napolean Dynamite (where "liger" comes from). I actually made a conscious effort to NOT see that movie. What amazed me is that I used to be like them. I remember quoting movies and acting silly and drinking in the early afternoon etc etc. Now I just try to make my kid laugh, find some time for my husband and I to chat without being interrupted, and just go to the bathroom alone.

When did I grow up? I wasn't informed it was happening, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get a choice. I guess it's okay. I think I'll live with or without "ligers" in my life.

"So fun"

Picture: Andrew and his friend Alex

I should change the name of this blog to "Chronicles of Andrew" This is really getting pathetic...every entry is about him!

So here's another...

Today we went to the park with my local mom's club. We saw one of Andrew's good friends, Alex. When I say Andrew's friend, I of course mean a little girl that has a mother that I like to chat with and hang out with. Andrew doesn't "play" per se, so he doesn't get to pick his friends right now :) Andrew got a snack of raisins while we were there, and Alex came promptly over to mooch. In case you didn't know, that is what 2 year olds do...beg and steal food from anyone and everyone who has it. Andrew screeched as she tried to manhandle the raisin box away. I suggest sharing, and my sweet boy picks out a few raisins for his friend. I start crooning the expected motherly utterings "Good sharing, nice boy, blah blah blah". (I actually am very proud that he is willing to share...but I don't want to brag...ha ha ha)

Cut to about 15 minutes later. Andrew starts walking towards the parking lot and says "All done park, mama. Go home" (can you believe he speaks like this already???) So I packed him into the car and we left. As we pull out of the lot, here is our amazing conversation:

"So fun, mama"
"Did you have fun at the park, Andrew?"
"So fun share Ahh-jex" (that is how he says Alex)
"Yes, you did a good job sharing with Alex, Andrew"
"Pee-za and shake"

As you can see, after our brief heart-to-heart, we were on to discussing what Andrew would like for lunch. Friends are all well and good, but they don't compare to pizza (which Andrew requests for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day...I only give in about 40% of the time)

Andrew "brushing Shadow's teeth"

Andrew and his matchbox cars

Andrew's 2 today!

Okay, so his birthday isn't technically until the end of November, but someone forgot to tell Andrew that. He woke up from his nap today and was 2! Dear God, someone help me...

Jeff is currently sitting with Andrew in front of the tv...the only activity that doesn't reduce him to tears in 5 minutes. We just had a mother of a battle at the dinner table...except that Jeff and I weren't participants in the fight. Andrew was famished, so we sat him in his chair. We were having spaghetti, which is one of Andrew's favorites, but also quite messy. So we put on a bib...and melt down began. Sobbing "all done, no eat". So we took him out of the chair. He flings himself down on the floor "Eat, mama eat". We tell him he must sit in his chair to eat. "No eat, mama, no eat". Still sobbing on the floor. Jeff and I are eating calmly (if a little faster than usual) at the table. "Milk, mama". So we get up to get him milk. As Jeff is walking to the fridge, he throws himself on the ground and says "no milk...yes milk...no no no". Hmmmmm...sounds like a no win situation for the parents here. So we finished our meal, with Andrew underfoot and crying his eyes out. I picked him up and asked why he was crying. He just sobbed. I told him he should stop crying so he could talk to me. Kept crying. Jeff couldn't stand it anymore and went to watch tv with him. Andrew crying the whole way to the tv..."mama's turn, mama's turn".

DEAR LORD HELP ME TO NOT BE ADMITTED INTO THE ASYLUM BEFORE MY SON TURNS 4.

Singing

Andrew makes me cry just about every day...not with sadness, but with sheer cuteness. He has started singing. I LOVE IT. He started with Twinkle, Twinkle, because that is what we sing every night before bed. But it has branched out to so many other songs. I wish I could record him singing, so you guys could hear it. It is the sweetest sound on earth. He gets this soft, higher pitched little singing voice. Then he just kind of murmers in that sweet voice until he hits a word he knows and then sings that. God love him. (speaking of God, when we say the Lord's prayer before bed, he now says Amen at the end...to hear that word in his little voice...makes me cry all over again)

He also requests songs for me to sing now. Our number one request? Elmo's World. Yea (please note sarcasm). Of all the cute kids songs in the world, that is my son's favorite.

I was playing classical music this morning, and a beautiful song came on (I wish I could remember which one). Andrew looked up from his breakfast and said "violin". I about crapped my pants. How did he know those were violins playing? I don't remember teaching him that! So I promptly agreed and asked him how you play a violin. He kind of vaguely moved his arms around...he doesn't really know that...he just knows what one sounds like?!?!? So I taught him how to play air violin. You may not know this, but I play a MEAN air violin.

And finally...my mom and I went out to dinner tonight, and on our way into the restaurant, we passed a parked car that was blasting pop music out of it. Andrew let go of my hand and started GROOVING, right there on the sidewalk. He does this ALL THE TIME, whenever there is music with a good beat. He just can't help himself from dancing. He bounces his knees, swings his hips, and moves his arms around. You just laugh until you cry when you watch it. And he is so SERIOUS when he does it. And there is no way to get him to stop until he is through. He must dance!

Entertaining the grandparents

What a performer! Andrew loves to have an audience, and there is no better audience than his grandma and grandpa. We are here visiting them for Labor Day weekend, and Andrew is in HEAVEN. Plus the fact, Grandma is a garage-sale-oholic, so this house is chock full of new toys for Andrew. It all started off well, when Grandma greeted him with a giant Nemo stuffed animal. He carried it around with him for the entire first day. He has new puzzles, a big school bus, and the old FP people sets (pre-battery era-I love it!)

I can hear him right now hitting the ball off the tee with a bat. Sound dangerous? It only is if he's running after the ball. He definitely gets his fine-tuned balance from his mother :) Anyway, after playing tee ball for about 3 hours, he now knows "Put ball on tee" and "two hands on bat" and "Hooooray! A-ew did it" when he hits the ball successfully. He is going to be such a sports fanatic.

We also watched the OSU game on Saturday (by "we" I mean everyone except for me). Andrew already likes to watch football better than me (he probably understands the game better as well). Anyway, there was a tackle or fumble or something bad for OSU. Andrew cheers, and I thought Linda's head was going to spin around on her neck. You could almost see her talking in her head "he's only 2...don't scold him...he can't know what he's just said". Then she quietly told him that that was the wrong team to cheer for. Ah yes...spreading the crazies to the next generation. What was I doing while the OSU game was on. Reading a book (shameful, I know-it's amazing I was allowed to take the family name when I married in).

And finally, we went to church with the grandparents, and taught Andrew once again that church is bad. He was left in the nursury with lots of fun toys and very nice people. I kind of thought he'd be fine. Oops. After the hour service, I went back to get him and he was sitting on a lady's lap, crying. Based on the puffy eyes, runny nose, and splotchy face, I'd guess he'd been crying almost the whole time. He took one look at me and started crying hysterically "All done, mama, All done". Why does church always have to be so traumatic?

Later today, we'll make the treck back to Kentucky. All in all, a successful, enjoyable, gorgeous weekend (I don't think the weather could be more perfect). I LOVE living near family!

Enjoying my baby...

Okay, my life pretty much revolves around Andrew. How could it not? He's my employer...and he demands that I be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No vacation days, and if I take one anyway, there is severe clingy-needieness when I get back. He's a tough boss, but he makes the job easy by being so darn cute!

Andrew has started singing. VERY cute. He kind of mumbles most of it in a sing-songy way, and then usually gets the last word in a line. Like mmm-mmm mmm-mmm mmm-mmm -tar for Twinkle twinkle. I was so excited the first time he did it, I exclaimed "Good singing, Andrew". So now EVERY TIME he sings, he looks at me a triumphantly says "Good sing, A-ew" Yes yes...we know.

He cheers whenever he does ANYTHING. Okay, so I may be directly responsible for that too.

He gets excited about every little thing he sees. We were taking a walk, and he noticed an ant on the ground. So he just plops down on the pavement, and we spent 5 minutes watching the ants and occasionally taking a swipe at them. Acorns acorns acorns...they are everywhere, but it is like striking gold every time we find one. It is so fun to see the world through a toddler's eyes.

He is so darn SMART. Okay, so I don't have anything to compare him too. I hope I don't become one of those parents who insists their kid is "gifted" when he is really an average-joe (which really would be fine by me). Anyway, onto my "gifted" child. We were at the zoo again today, and there was a display with tortoises on one side and turtles on the other. After hearing it from me once, he kept running from one exhibit to the other, telling everyone around him which was which.
"Tor-toes"
-run--run--run "Tur-tle in the water"
-run--run--run "Tor-toes"

Can you tell I'm in love? I seriously need a life outside this kid...he's really going to become an egomaniac!

I know what they are saying...

I have the answer to every parents' question.

Do you ever have nights where your infant suddenly starts crying? No diaper change needed, not hungry, not hurt, not scared. Just screaming their heads off?

Andrew had a night just like this yesterday. Except he can speak now. So I finally know what is going through those babies heads on a night like that.

"All done...-sob-...All done nigh-nigh...-cry- All done mama...MAAAAA MAAAAA...GO DOWN-TAIRS"

That's it. They're just all done sleeping. Aren't you glad you finally know now?

(btw...we let A scream that for an hour and a half...with us peeking in and comforting him occasionally. We thought for sure he'd sleep in the next morning, but nope, up earlier than usual at 6:00!)