Generic Human

There are generic brands of just about everything in the world. Did you ever know that there are generic people too? Yup...that's me!

This post is in response to those of you who believe that Lily looks like me. It's not just those of you posting comments. Some people out in the real world have made this comment to me as well.

She does not look like me. Sorry, but she has everything from Jeff's color and shape eyes to her grandmother's freaky toes (sorry, Linda). She is a Spurgeon up and down. A few days after her birth, my MIL even brought me a newborn picture of Lily's Aunt Sara to squelch any hopes I may have had that my child looks like my side of the family. Sara and Lily could have been twins at birth. Seriously. Except for the slightly hairy shoulders, this child merely used my womb and made me puke a lot...none of my genes were used.

That being said...you are not entirely mistaken, people-who-think-I-spawned-a-child-like-me. On our first date, the city bus driver did ask Jeff and I if we were brother and sister (let's all say it together, shall we? EWWWWWWW!). And, no, Jeff and I are not related, we merely have that corn-fed Midwestern look in common.

Oh, and I do look a bit like everyone. I have been blessed with very generic features...hence the title of this post. I am not putting myself down. It is the truth. I have no distinguishing features. If I were to rob a bank, and the teller was asked to describe me, what exactly would they say?

"Uh, she was average height...well, maybe kind of tall, but not memorably so. She had mousy brown hair...not light, not dark, not memorable. Her eyes were...gee, I don't know what color her eyes were. Brownish? Greenish? Her nose was not too small, not too big, no bumps or anything memorable. She wasn't skinny, but not exactly obese. No glasses, no birthmarks, no hump, limp, or stutter." You get the drift? This means a few things:

a) I look a little bit like everybody. Just live in my shoes for a week and you will hear at least 3 times, "Oh my gosh, you look just like my cousin/sister/best friend/ex-boyfriend's little sister/neighbor". I look a little like everyone.

b) I should TOTALLY be an undercover cop. Or bank robber. Or CIA agent. I would just blend into the background. I wouldn't even have to wear a mask or a disguise. I would just blend into the fabric of humankind.

So there you have it. Lily doesn't look like me. Well, no more than any of you reading this looks like me. :) But have no fear...I will make my mark on the child yet. She will spend a lot of time with me for the first quarter of her life. I've already corrupted Andrew...he's way weirder than anyone in Jeff's family. What other child do you know asks if his milk is "strawberried up". Or asks what color his poop is. Or plays pretend for hours with containers of glue...not gluing things, but making them talk to each other, play football, go to school, etc. Or sings to the tv, "This is the way the Buckeyes win, Buckeyes win, Buckeyes win" (to the tune of Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush). Oh wait, that last one is his grandmother's fault, not mine.