Suburban Hell

I've been inspired to discuss Christmas decorating by my sister's last post. Get ready for some whining!

We live in a really nice neighborhood. Sidewalks throughout, 3 playgrounds, 4 pools, a big pond/small lake, etc etc etc. We get a newsletter every month filled with activites. Like this Sunday, they are having cookies and cider in the lodge with Santa and carriage rides around the neighborhood. Why would you want carriage rides. Oh yes, to look at the unbelievable decorations.

People have been decorating like crazy. Oh wait, let me rephrase. People have been hiring professionals to decorate their homes like crazy. The end result: house after house of beautiful, brightly lit, gigantic homes. I think our neighborhood must be visible from space this time of year. "Oh look, I see the Great Wall of China. And there is Lake Forest, in Louisville" (that's an astronaut talking, in case you were wondering)

In the middle of all this oozing Christmas bliss is one dark house. The owners are relatively new to the neighborhood, but they have already begun to neglect their landscaping. The grass is dying, and now covered with leaves. The bushes look overgrown, as if they have cancelled the landscaping service needed to keep up with these things. You can see a lit Christmas tree through the front window, but the rest of the house is Bah-humbug dark, without even a wreath on the door. What is wrong with these people? Can't they see they are putting a damper on the perfection that is the Lake Forest Christmas Decorating?

Oh wait, that house is ours.

I can't do it. I won't hire someone to come out, I can't do the lights with Andrew during the day: we live on the busiest street in the neighborhood, and I have visions of my ornery 2 year old dashing in front of a truck just to spite me. We have no time on the weekends due to Thanksgiving, Andrew's b-day, fencing tournament, and furniture drop-offs. We can't put a damn wreath up because there is a window in the top, so one of those hooks won't fit, and the door must be made of platinum or tooth enamel or something, because a nail won't penetrate it.

So Bah-Humbug. I could throw a pitiful strand of lights on one of our overgrown bushes (reminiscent of my Dad's decorating ability in my childhood). But I think that would look worse than nothing at all.

Maybe I should really throw in the towel and just buy one of those huge inflatable snowmen and put it in the yard. Sure, Shadow may never pee outside again for fear of the "White Ghost of Death", but at least we'd be festive!